Home Up




I like to write
Satirical, political,
Sometimes, a little critical;
Of current affairs,
While having a laugh
At every Government gaffe.
It is NOT poetry
As you know it,
Just doggerel for the masses,
And even the Upper Classes.


Oh, Miss Campbell
Havenít you done well?
Subpoenaed to The Hague,
You were delightfully vague.
With Mr Taylor, you were flirty;
He gave you some stones
That you said were dirty!
Indeed, they were used to finance
An army of chance,
Children soldiers, amputations,
A world so far from glossy celebrations.
You like diamonds that are flashy
That sparkle, as you sashay
Up and down the catwalk;
Remember the children who cannot talk,
Cannot walk, in West Africa
Because of cruelty, so savage
In a war of ravage and hysteria,
Financed by the diamonds of Liberia!!



Look at Harriet
Swinging the lariat,
Now Gordon has gone
HER will be done!
She bought a new jacket
To make sure
She could hack it.
She maligned the Opposition
To jockey for the position
Of Lady of The House.
Harriet wishes to leave the Commons behind,
Because she wonít mind
Being Lady Harman, her right,
Now within her sight.


When times are tough,
And you are feeling rough,
Try and remember
That lovely September,
When all things were bright,
And your heart was light.
For those precious memories
Give a heartfelt thanks.
Try to face the future;
Be brave;
For you must save, the beauty of her smile,
The sound of her voice,
Deep in your heart
When the tears are about to start.



Bye Bye Gordon,
Do your packing,
Itís all over!
Well done, Mrs Duffy
You spoke your mind,
He replied, in kind,
Then, covered his face,
What a dreadful disgrace,
Who can he blame
For the end of his game?
All the entourage
Are doing their best,
But Gordon is at the top
And must take responsibility
For the DROP.



Nick Clegg said,
ďAll Lib Dems are clean,
I mean,
I thought they were,
But now, obviously,
They are not.
But do I care
One jot!Ē
Pretty boy Laws
Has had to be demoted,
Ginger Alexander
Got to be promoted.
Cabinet Chairs are being shuffled
All the neat haircuts
Are looking quite ruffled.
David, kick Nick into touch,
Pick a Deputy Blue.
You picked up two seats,
And let Nick try and sue!


Hit the Lights!
Let the cameras roll!
Sun tanned Tony is back!
Does he want to be friends,
To make amends,
Or, is he here
To help his old neighbour Brown,
Or, possibly to see him drown?
Whatever the stakes
He will be on a winner!
Brown will fade into the shade,
Tony, stepping back into the spotlight
Where he feels he belongs,
Will not be dimmed,
But, continue his accumulation,
Loving all that adulation.
He should be at Wootton Bassett
Seeing tragedies
Not loving the limelight
In a line of comedies.



Oh, Dear Piers,
What about those tears?
Gordon shed them freely,
When questioned sincerely
On the loss of his daughter.
He was visibly touched,
He really emoted,
But did he really consider
The families, so devoted,
Their lives so disturbed,
THEIR  children, now interred
By HIS decisions
To limit the Budget
For Army Divisions



Charges of false accounting
Are now mounting.
Chaytor, Morley and Devine
Have begun to whine
And looking to shelter
Under the umbrella
Of the Bill of Rights,
Which must be invoked.
Written in Sixteen Eighty Nine
When criminals were
Not asked to dine,
But sent to the block
And given the chop.
Will we bring back
These Rights?.
Put these MPs
In our sights?
Shall we ?
Oh, yes please.


To  Be Or Not To Be An MEP

Please,  can I be an MEP?
This request, must get,
Utmost priority.
I really love to travel,
My present pension
Has begun to unravel.
< La Clause Anglaise>
Will enable me,
To pay a useful salary
To all my family.
I think I can talk
In a rational way
To help the UK
Get more liquidity,
To pay for
Our present Government's stupidity.
Hallo Strasbourg
Here I come,
Please do not be crass,
I must have a ticket
First Class!


Tears for Peers

The Peers
Are in tears,
These Lords
Want rewards.
What is happening
To our Beloved Country?
First The Commons,
Now the Upper House,
Two hundred pounds a day
Is not enough!
They cannot exist on that,
It will not keep them in snuff.
First Class Travel
Is a priority,
Not a luxury
For this minority.
They are in uproar,
What a furore!
Up in arms,
Bearing Arms,
Seated on red leather,
Will they be able to weather
This political storm?


Tiger, Tiger, burning bright,
Where were you going
In the middle of the night?
Were you on your way out,
Your wife watched you,
She rescued you,
Unconscious and bleeding,
Golf club in hand,
Now, you must face the band.
Because, the kiss and tell
Little girlies
Are coming out.
Got you by the curlies!!!!

Their Time is Now,

Their time is now,
They gave a vow,
They lived through trouble and strife,
They gave their life.
Other have given their arms and legs,
Returning home to their children and wives
Wondering how the future will be,
Will they be able to maintain their family.
In some cases their minds are blown,
Nightmares day and night,
All because they went to fight.

Instead of an Army division,
What about the Premier League Division?
One weekís salary would never be missed.
There would be no pain, 
But what a gain!!
Terry, Gerrard, Lampard, Ferdinand, Lead the Band.
Show that charity comes from the heart, Make a start!!
forget the Roar of the crowd, 
See in the eyes of the injured and bereaved
That your compassion can be believed. 
Remember when you go out to play 
you always live to fight another day.

Gravy Train

Hurrah! the gravy train is cancelled, 
Guilty MPs are departing, 
Most of them, are still smarting, 
no more freebies, not even a vacation! 
The train remains in the station.

What will they do?
These jobless fraudsters.
Worry not!!
Behold their golden pension,
destined to live in Shangri La,
While we poor citizens
Are left wishing on a star.

A new speaker will arrive, 
Old MPs Will duck and dive. 
As for me,
I don't want an old loony, 
Please can we have 
Gorgeous George Clooney!!

There is a rule that needs amending,
No Pay Up for just attending. 
Salaries are paid to workers, 
Joe public can't afford shirkers. 
Pensioners are living on crumbs 
While MPs are sitting on their bums!! 
So Number One for departing
Must be that expensive Mr Martin!!

We are going to come to our senses- no Expenses!
From now on ó and for ages, 
We will live on our wages. 
How good will that be? 
A Real Novelty!

The Morning Dawns, 

The morning dawns, 
A family mourns, 
Their heads are bowed. 
His country is proud.

What of the directive taken 
By the powers that be, 
To send this young generation 
Off to join the cavalry.

What of the sons of Cabinet Ministers? 
Whose fathers gave their decisions. 
They have jobs in the city, 
Far away from Army Divisions.

If cabinets kith and kin 
Experienced Hellís kitchen
Our troops would soon be home 
No more to roam.

Then we could say to Blair
Don't turn a hair, 
Your family is still intact.
But be repentant 
And aware of this fact
The tears are still flowing, 
Their infants are growing, 
The lack of a husband, a dad, 
Makes a wife so sad.

You sent them to fight, 
You had no right,
Your life is not fraught,
Theirs was so short. 
The bugle sounds 
Make it The Retreat. 
Let them come home. 
To make their family complete.

Michael Martin
Thank heavens 
he's gone, 
Justice has been done.

I want to berate him 
But Gordon disagrees, 
He wants to elevate him. 
What a profanity 
This is insanity!

He doesn't like Sloanes
Won't take advice
from his betters.
The Lords, are indeed Lords.
So release him
from those fetters.

Take away that two mil pension. 
That is for achievement. 
Ask the Commons to vote, 
I'm sure there will be agreement

Let us settle down, 
to get rid of Brown.
Then this country once again
Will be clean
God Save the Queen!

The Bercow Two

The Speaker speaks
His Budget squeaks!
He said , We must be  accountable
About all expenses Ė
Do Not include me,
I, must be free.
Now Sally is shopping,
Without stopping!
Entertaining and hospitality,
There must be no frugality.
Scatter cushions, large TV,
Double bed for Nanny,
Fill every nook and cranny.
Re-decorate the walls,
Not so burly,
Preferably, little girly.
His Salary must not be spent
Our taxes will do,
Donít mention the rents
He will accrue.
Six and a half thousand
For the sofa suite,
Obviously not DFS,
That would be too neat.
Renovations, decoration,
Bring them on,
The faster the better,
Sally is dreaming
Of the important letter
And next revelation
That John will receive,
His Lords elevation!!
Meanwhile, open the Public Purse,
Matters are about to get worse.
John Bercow and his wife
See their future
Free from strife,
In Golden Halls.


When Brown says
We will do everything in our power,
This was the man so bold,
He sold off all our gold.
The price was the cheapest,
We got no interest!
Now we are quaking
As all the MPs are taking
Our PAYMENT of taxes
To pay for their taxes!
Cromwell was right,
And now we must bite,
Take the bull by the horns
Get rid of the pawns
Clear the Board Ė
We are all bored.
Bring in a New Bloke, For the sake of us old folk,
Qualities of Honesty and Value,
Then the Country
Will Thank You!!


Bush and Blair

Bush and Blair
Were the pair
Who wanted to go,
Hand in hand,
To Saddam's foreign land.
They sought action,
On the charge
Of Weapons of Mass Destruction,
But, was that true?
Perhaps they sought
To land on Iraqi soil
In order to
Access the oil!
We may never know
How B and B
Live with their shame,
For the young lives, so brave
That they did not save.

Laura and Cherie
Have many mansions,
George and Tony
Have their Ministerial Pensions.
No worries about THEIR future,
They canít stop earning!
Unlike the wives and family
Of the brave soldiers,
Who are still yearning
For that comfortable brief
Taken away by inconsolable grief.

Election Time

Election Time is coming
Some are standing down,
They took too much gravy
And are an insult to the Crown.

Party Time is coming,
With colours Red, Blue and Yellow,
Brown must be excluded,
It is miserable and mellow.

Dress the tree,
Put up the Holly,
Welcome a new Party
So we can be jolly.

Say goodbye to woe,
Under the Mistletoe,
Kiss our cares away,
Welcome a New Day!